Where The Boys Are

Song of the Day: Connie Francis - Where the Boys Are

I decided to go way back in time and select this old crooning song. Not to mention, the title has constantly been pondering in my mind (much to my annoyance!) in my endless search for romance. Is it too much to ask for a fairytale romance where boy meets girl, falls head-over-heels in love and lives happily ever after? I guess it is. Before you go and get any ideas about the song title, I'm not a boy-crazy and SAD (Single And Desperate) individual. I just like to keep my options open (Hey, it is a big big ocean full of exotic fishes after all).

Since it is the weekend, I don't think I wanna waste precious moments contemplating on the "Why?" or "When?" or "What if?" of my romance status (or lack thereof). In fact, it is a subject I wanna stay far, far away from (today, at least).

My apartment will be hosting a steambot tonight. What turned out to be a simple birthday party plan escalated into a full blown come-one-come-all potluck event featuring all our friends. But I'm not too excited about it. In fact, nothing much gets me excited (in every sense of the word) anymore these days. Am I losing my touch? Maybe it's just because I miss the sense of belonging within a gang of friends comfortable in each other's skins. Needless to say, I don't feel BELONGED here.

I slept the night before with a nagging worry in my mind: MY FUTURE. Or lack of it at the moment. I woke up in the morning with the same thought and it doesn't soothe my sour mood. I am done ruing (Err.. from the word rue?) about what could have been or what would happen. I have to make things happen myself! My future lies in my own hands!So, in other to appease my troubled mind, I devised a backup plan just in case I could not secure a job right after graduation. No, it does not involve me getting attached to an angmo (and gain PR status by de facto) or marry a rich old heir either. Sorry to dissapoint but I just can't imagine marrying a guy for his money (even if he is tall, dark and handsome). I want to spend $$ which I make with my own hard work. That's how I define success.

So, what if along my career progression, I neglected a few of my social needs (Read: relationships). That's the price I am willing to pay because at the end of the day, you're the only person you can depend on. Anyway come what may, I hope that in time, I can honestly say that I am HAPPY with who I am and what I've become.

I might have been lying when I said I'm willing to ignore my ticking biological clock and forego having a family. Cause truth is, I really, really do want to have a child. More than I desire to have a man for the rest of my life. If none the takers, I will just adopt. Hah!

Is this normal? Haha. In this age and generation, nothing can be considered unconventional anymore.