Twenty Something

Song of the Day: Jamie Cullum - Twenty Something

The week after YV: Everything has gone back to normal.

By normal I mean, attending lectures on a daily basis, scurrying to complete assignments before the due date and late night mamak sessions at Murni's (It has become a NECESSITY.)

Yeap. Back to normal.

Funnily enough, I do not feel a sense of remorse that everything was over and done with (WTTW, AP Night, YV). Instead, I feel some semblance of normalcy and mundane-ness that I am comfortable with. Maybe it's time that I get my life back on track and turned my attention to more pressing matters such as assignments, scholarships and preparations to fly. April's coming anyway.

I have been procrastinating endlessly. An hour ago, I just started on my Law assignment which is due next Monday. Mr. Gooi, my Investments lecturer assumed that I had already started on my FIN 221 assignment when he discussed it in class today. I had to shake my head vigorously just to get my point across in case he thought I was being modest or something (since the whole class was listening and nobody had started yet). The truth is, I really had not started on my assignments at all! Why is it that everybody assumes that being a top scorer, I have to conformed to such stereotypes like being a nerd, finishing all tutorials and assignments on time and studying every day? Seriously, a friend of mine enquired today whether I read 2 chapters everyday after classes as revision. I was like, "What? You're kidding me? Do I look like I've got nothing else better to do?" but of course being me, I was actually saying with indignation, "Of course not!". Then, he went on to ask how is it that I managed to get HDs everytime. I was speechless for a while but I ended up saying lamely, "It's just a fluke."

Just call me Miss Modest.

[shrugged] I don't know really. How I manage to get HDs everytime especially when I ponteng-ed so many classes in between the semesters. Call it sheer luck or plain smartness. I prefer to think it's the latter [wink].

*For the benefit of those reading (if there are any), I don't usually boast like this. It only happens like once in a blue moon especially when my brother is within hearing distance. We've got this healthy sibling rivalry to overdo each other's successes. But of course, it's always not fair since he will always have 5 years ahead of me.

I think I've digress a little. Where was I?

Oh, normalcy. Yeap. I'm back on the train slowly chugging to Brisbane. If I'm still not here, my brother would literally yanked me back on. As I mentioned in previous posts, he was growing concerned with the blase approach that I was portraying about my preparations before this week. 3 more months to fly but I have yet to do anything about it. I guess I kind of deserved it.

I really should continue on my Law assignment. Or at least, attempt to start on my Investment assignment......

Tomorrow would be the last episode of AIESEC in UM that I'll be attending. God. I just realized it with a sudden clarity (After I wrote it down in words!).

No more square dances. Roll Calls.

No more Sharon going, "Hey, Aiesec!".

No more Mamak sessions after episode.

Deep down inside, I could not feel the wave of sadness and despair that I know I should be feeling. Maybe it's because it has not truly hit me yet. Maybe because I know that it's not the end of AIESEC UM even if the episodes are. I mean, there's still the 10-hour Elections on Saturday! And, not to forget YV programs every weekend in April and May. So yeah.... It's not really THE-END yet.

I wonder if I would cry when THE-END really did come.

Looking back at past KDU experiences, I did not cry even when I was sending my friends off to Australia. So yeah, I don't think I would shed tears.

I mean, THE-END need not truly be the end right? We'll still be friends and all. Maybe not as close as before but still, friends!

FRIENDS FOREVER? AMIGOS PARA SIEMPRE?

Only time will tell.


-every end is the start of a new beginning -

Cupids Chokehold

Song of the Day: Gym Class Heroes - Cupids Chokehold

Yesterday was a topsy-turvy day.

Wait. Scratch that. It wasn't just yesterday. But the day before and day before before.

YV had officially begun on Thursday. Being in Event & Logistics, running the carnival and concert was part and parcel of the resume. My organizer was my constant companion as I remembered running all over the place on Thursday, directing the vendors on where to set up and be the perfect host by enquiring constantly about the state of events. I am proud to say that we organized efficiently (with a few loopholes of course) but the carnival could have been better had it been more crowded. God! Where are the 30,000 odd UM students when you need them??!!?

But I had fun nonetheless. The vendors that we've found were a crazy bunch like us too, so the camaraderie between the @cers and them was entertaining. I think I will take this opportunity to thank the @cers (especially the volunteers) for making this event a memorable success. A friend just told me yesterday that he got so annoyed because I kept saying "Thanks ya!" to him. Oh well. So much for being polite and grateful.

That's pretty much Thursday and Friday. But it all leads up to the BIG event on Saturday! YV Concert! Few big names like Juwita Suwito, Karen Kong (The Friendster Gal) and other lesser known bands such as Borange, Fasy Live etc. were coming to perform. Yours truly was co-stage manager. Man. It's actually the 2nd time I've been assigned to be one. The first was during HELP's Fete De La Musique in Bukit Bintang. Hmm... I don't think I screwed up (maybe missing out little details) but it was definitely fun communicating with the others through the walkie-talkie.

"Technical, technical, do you hear me? Over."

"Please draw the curtains after this performance. Over and Out."

"Since this is the last performance, just sit back and enjoy "Hello Kitty" la." [Karen's song: Cinta Hello Kitty]

Hehe. But no, I don't wish to endure that level of stress again. I couldn't even sit down and enjoy the performances! Maybe except during the last few performers namely Karen and Juwita. They were both really good. But Juwita deserves all the accolades that she has received. On top of that, she's so down-to-earth! I can still picture her face when the @cers gave her a HOT-TO-GO. Haha. Priceless.

Anyway to sum up the month of March, it has indeed been a March Madness. It started out with Window To The World, then AP Night, then YV and coming up next: Elections!!! Not that I could be running or anything but some of my friends will and I would love to be there giving my full-fledged support BUT........

My parents are coming down. Sigh. What a coincidence. I haven't been giving my parents the attention that they deserved and I feel like such a lousy kid. I got a sounding from my brother through email the other day, and since it was in the midst of YV, I blew it back to him. I will be going out to dinner with him tonight and I could safely say that I would be expecting more admonition from him. Sigh. Brothers. You either love them or hate them.

March is drifting by pretty fast. Sooner or later, I have to face the fact that I'm leaving. Leaving everything that's becoming very dear to me. Friends whose company you enjoy, activities that you enjoy doing, and most importantly a sense of belonging. I haven't been this happy and satisfied with my life since my KDU days. I hope I won't endure another post-KDU syndrome later in Brisbane. I could really breakdown then.

But that's for another day to worry. At the moment, there's still loads to do! Assignments have been pushed aside, lectures have been unceremoniously skipped, other friends have been pushed aside and most importantly, I've neglected my dues to my family.

Back to life. And reality.

Want You, Need You, Love You

Song of the Day: Elvis Presley - Want You, Need You, Love You

Can I finally take a breather?

The answer is sadly, NO.

YV is less than 1 week away and there's still LOADS to do.

Last weekend was AP Night. In hindsight, I had much more fun from the post-AP than during the event itself. Since I was in the OC, I was practically all over the place, ushering (yikes) and being the plate holder passing out certificates to others (Malunya. Luckily cannot see the audience as it was too dark). The crowd turnout was disappointedly low but nevertheless, all the people whom you expected to be were there. That was what mattered the most. My objective was achieved that night, which was to take as many pictures as possible. Technically, it was my last AP Night so, memories were important.

I bought my dress (which I later coaxed my mother to sponsor me :) for RM60, spent RM35 for my hair (which was pretty cool after the curls subsided into waves), RM65 for the event itself and RM30 for a brand new black strapless bra (I realized I could go commando if I did not wear any). Sigh. It has been a money spinning weekend.

Oops. Not to forget RM25 for the Maison's open-bottle. Maison's was really cool! It's situated on Asian Heritage Row so the place itself was actually in an old colonial style kind-of bungalow. Inside, it had the feeling of an old barnhouse. Everything was cool except for their choice of music. House? Cmon! Give me R & B anytime. But given the amount of alcohol I induced, I found it no problem at all to dance. Hehe. Yeap. I was seriously tipsy. I hope I wasn't slurring my words.

Had some interesting conversations of which, in retrospect I would not normally answer if I was sober. Damn. Why did I have to drink so quickly? I was roaring to enjoy myself that night (maybe even get drunk) so I decided to drink, drink and drink. I couldn't even trust myself to leave my seat when the others decided to hit the dance floor. Thus, I found myself being interrogated by 3 males who was left at the table. Yikes. Did I revealed out too much?

Halfway through Maison's (1ish am), someone got post that the club was about to get raid. Just when I was about to get my groove (to dance that is), we had to leave the club. Luckily, I could still walk without falling flat on my face. In total, I had 5 glasses ok? Hehe. But then again, a guy friend was holding my arm. Once outside, we discovered that the rumour was untrue and ended up deciding to bar-hop to Ivy. Ivy was a bit smaller than Maison but they played better music. We even found a place to sit! While others were dancing to the tunes, I found myself being roped in to play Truth or Dare. [sweat]. And the 1st person is none-other-than yours truly. [another sweat]. Let's just say that I will definitely not reveal about those truths (or dare) that I answered or did that night. Too bloody embarrasing.

After Ivy, we decided to sober up by going to Devi's Corner. On the way, had to deal with some extortion from someone who was listening when I revealed a BIG-HUGE secret of myself. Sigh. The good news was, he was the only one who knew. The bad news was, I don't think I will ever hear the end of it. Damn.

Ended up talking (and listening) at Devi's till 5am. By that time, I was SOBER. I was the 3rd person to be sent home by Rene but somehow or rather, we ended up at Ting Chong's brand-new-bungalow-complete-with-pool house with the intention to just visit his room. My My. His room was fantabulous! Needless to say, we ended up chatting till 11am the next day! Haha. It's funny how time flies when you're chatting with friends.

After that, I totally zonked out. I slept for hours trying to rejuvenate myself but ended up being totally lethargic and disoriented on Sunday night. As a result, I skipped classes the whole of today (also to attend YV roadshow in UM).

YV. Crap. Still so many things to do. I shouldn't waste time blogging now!

But anyway, it was a memorable and fun-filled weekend. I wish I could rewind it back but wishful thinking of course. Hopefully this coming weekend would be fun-filled too.

If it doesn't kill me first.

Listen

Song of the Day: Beyonce - Listen

You thought you had it figured out. But things always have a way in proving you wrong.

You thought that you are happy the way things are. But sometimes you get sick and tired of the same old familiarity and wish that you could run away.

You thought that a new begininng sounds terrifying. But you need a new environment to yank you out of your comfort zone and move on in life.

You thought that people marry because of love. But people actually marry for convenience and companionship.

You thought that fate finally has woven its magic. But in reality, there is no such thing as magic (or fate for that matter).

You thought that everything should be viewed in an optimistic manner. But, people could take advantage of your naivety.

Sometimes, a man should be an island. Depending on no one so that your feelings would not get hurt when you had your hopes up but it was cruelly stamped down upon.

Sometimes, you thought you could depend on your friends when your family isn't around to give you comfort but then again, friends have their own problems and agenda.

Sometimes, you realize that though how hard you try to put yourself out on a platter for the world to see, a part of you still shields behind the invinsible armour that you could not erase.

Sometimes, you tell yourself that all the things you do now is to make yourself happy but how long can you stay happy and contented with the way things are?

Sometimes, you wonder what's this whole frigging life about? Are we put on earth to feel despair, hurt, anger and loneliness?

Sometimes, it suddenly hits you as clear as day. It's better to feel than not to feel at all. It's better to be sad than not being happy at all. It's better to cry than be cold and insensitive.

To be or not to be, that is not the question. "Being" is all that matters.


Wow. I read that back again and I realized, "That was some deep shit!". Today I suddenly felt the urge to be philosophical. Maybe it was because I had some pretty deep and meaningful conversation with my friends earlier in the evening, and that was when my brain decided to be in full creative mode. Anyway, I am a person that finds it hard to express wholly how I feel inside. Looking back, I must pat myself on the back as the above statements pretty much sums it all up.

[shakes head]

Sigh. My so-called life.