More Than Fine

Song of the day: Switchfoot - More Than Fine

Perhaps the most common word used in the midst of conversation is "Fine". Some would argue that "OK" or "Err..." comes close too but for the sake of this entry, let's all agree that it's "Fine". Moreover, "Err..." can't really be considered a full fledged word. I mean, it's more like a ...... err.... you get what I mean.

This days, have been over-exposed to the word "Fine". In real and reel life. The irony of the word is when someone uses it, they don't usually mean that it's fine and dandy and great. What they really mean is "Fine! I don't agree with whatever you say but I'll have to go along with you since I don't have the time and energy to argue about it. Plus, I'm flexible. So, whatever you say is FINE with me!" They say it with such vehemence and sarcasm in their voice that the other party must be deaf not to notice that "Fine" isn't really fine at all [No offence intended for the hearing impaired].

Human. Why can't we just say what we want to say out loud? More often than not, what we say don't usually coincide with what our brains are thinking. I belong in the guilty party as well so that makes me eligible to judge and partake in this pointless observation.

The best example is the previous said "Fine". Another good example is "It was fun!" when the truth was "Well, it was OK at best, downright boring to say the least and please don't call me out again!". There are exceptions of course to the rule. The point is moot here, however.

In conclusion [this entry is starting to look like an essay], there is nothing to be gained from this useless entry. I just wanted to put some crap into my blog.

P/S: The time is 1.32am. All I want to do now is watch Harrison Ford act as the most powerful man on earth going all out to save his precious plane from hijackers. Great. I might as well throw my study plan out of the window. Oh, another thing. I had just fallen in love with Christian Bale. He is now my favourite actor.

Any Dream Will Do

Song of the day: Andrew Lloyd Webber - Any Dream Will Do

I'm back in my miserable room in KL rather than my lovely home in Ipoh. Reason? I NEED to get my act together and study.

I went home for the Deepa-Raya holidays with my brother and his girlfriend. Seriously.... my brother brought home his gf which only means 1 thing: It's serious! Not that I have any objections with it. I think she's pretty down to earth and I kinda like her. I think they're well suited for each other. Maybe I'm a bit biased since she did give me the Prada purse and all. Hehe.

Nothing remarkable happened during the Ipoh stint. I ate a lot (Shit! Everyone's telling me I'm putting on weight!), slept a lot, watched the whole freaking 24 Season 5 and I visited my deceased relatives since All Souls day is around the corner. Other than that, nothing remarkable happened.

Oh... did I mentioned I watched the whole freaking 24 Season 5 in 3 days? That's like 8 episodes per day. I did it once during my May holidays. Man, how addictive it can be. It's like 1 frigging long movie with loads of subplots that you just have to go on and on and on. Though the storyline can't differ much from the other seasons, it's still interesting to watch Jack Bauer and his loyal comrades relentlessly pursuing terrorists or traitors who will bomb a densely populated location or set our nerve gas that will kill innocent lives within the next 2 hours or less. Seriously, don't these guys sit down and have lunch or go for toilet breaks? They just keep going and going and going.... especially Jack Bauer! What annoys me is that they are so DAMN smart and resourceful! With just a simple click here and there, voila, some seriously-impossible-to-get intel could be obtained. With just a couple of men and high-tech arsenal, voila, they could take down practically all the mercenaries and hostiles who equally have high-tech machine guns. Seriously, everytime Jack Bauer escapes each engagement with barely a scratch. I know that man is good but NOT that GOOD!

Anyhow, they are paving the way for a Season 6. I can foresee ahead another 24 marathon for me. Damn. I've heard through the grapevine that there will be a 24 movie out soon. Great. How could they fit 24 hours in just a mere 2 hours? Anyhow, will be looking forward to it. I think Kiefer Sutherland fits these brooding-federal-agent characters down to a pat. The role he played in 'The Sentinel' was soooo Jack Bauer. And he played it well. Can't imagine Kiefer doing anything other than these type of characters. Comedy? Nah.... or [gasps] Romance?

Later, will be going to watch 'The Prestige'. Heard from others, it's a pretty nice show. I already have my hopes up. Don't disappoint me now, Heath, Christian, Scarlett.

Great. My whole purpose for coming back to KL early was to cram knowledge into my brain. At point of writing, still no desire and discipline to do so. I am doomed. What the hell, gal?? You're supposed to be the top student again this year! Exam's in 2.5 weeks! That's hardly enough time to study thoroughly!

I just had to knock some sense into my brain. Did it worked? Not in the very least.

Think I'll go and take a nap now... It's been a tiring journey (Tiring? All you did was sleep in the car!) ....It's a lazy Sunday afternoon (Hello? It's Wednesday!).... My eyes are sore from blogging (Blame it on me, huh?).... ZZZzzzzz....

Excuses, excuses... When will I ever learn?

He ain't heavy, He's my brother

Song of the day: Bee Gees - He ain't heavy, He's my brother

I woke up this morning, feeling as if I'm still in a disarray. Wait. Scratch that. I AM still in a disarray. But how could that be? A big burden of my life has been dealt with and the next big burden ain't coming till in 3 weeks time. Damn! 3 weeks only? I better start my revision soon.

But academics isn't what's bugging me this time. I can't even pinpoint exactly but I have a sneaky suspicion that what my brother said to me the other day was the main culprit. What exactly did he say to me?

"Who are you? It's like I don't even know you anymore!"

"You're changing, gal."

"So, you think you're so great heh?"

"Don't screw up your life!"

Hello?? Me, screwing up my life? That would never happen. I know my priorities and I would never allow anything to sway me from the path I've chosen. So, why did it hit me so much, those words uttered in concern by him? Maybe he was right that the fact I'm changing. But changes can be a good thing, no?

1st year post-KDU, I was really in the dumps. I was depressed. I was lonely. I was focusing all my energy into my studies. I had an aim. I wanted to be the top student in my year (which I finally succeeded, I think). But it came with a price. I had not a social life that I can shout about. I had no sense of belonging anywhere. I was pretty much lost in translation.

2nd year... I decided to turn my life around. I devised a motto: Work hard, play harder. I was trying to keep a balance between work and play. If others can do it, why can't I? I started hanging out more often than not, even on weekdays. I can feel my intellectual deteriorating a little. Simple questions in tutorial, I can't even do anymore. The night before an exam, I partied in Laundry, feeling no remorse whatsoever. I was complacent and I knew it! And yet, I continued to be complacent. This sem I've been skipping classes at will [a good friend pointed out to me recently that the "old" me would not have done so]. But I believe that as long as you keep up with the pace, it would not be a problem. But am I keeping up with the pace?

What is wrong with me? Finals in 3 weeks time and everyone's like "Shit, gotta study already. Can't go out too often." Me? "Chill lar. 3 weeks ma. Still got lots of time to study."

I had an aim. I still have the same aim. But am I doing everything I can to achieve that aim? I know that I'm a 'wait for things to happen rather than make things happen" kind of person. I'm trying my best to be proactive but to no avail. My carefree-ness is beginning to be my Archilles heel. I believe that opportunities will come knocking at my door. I believe that things will work themselves out. I believe that good things come to those who wait.

I've waited a long time. Nothing's happening still. This should be my wake-up call! BE PROACTIVE! MAKE THINGS HAPPEN! But....sigh.

Do I feel better after I've vented my frustrations out to the blog? No, I don't think so. I'm still in a disarray. And by the looks of it, I would still be for a long while. Maybe a trip back to Ipoh would be the buffer Home, TV, parents.... I hope it will do the trick. But maybe not either. Sometimes family could be your worse enemy rather than your trusted ally. I pray that it's the latter.

Soul Provider

Song of the day: Michael Bolton - Soul Provider

Just realized it's been a while since I last blogged. It has been a hell of a week [or so]. So where do I start?

From where I left off of course. Assignments aplenty. Really going crazy for a while there. This week itself, I had 3 assigments due. I am so thankful it's all over and done with! My life can finally get back on track. These days, it's been moving way too fast for my liking [Am blaming it on my motto: Work hard, play harder].

Highlights of the past week or so:

1. The award ceremony held just this morning. Met a new friend, chatted with an old one and had lunch with a close friend. Oh, not to forget the amount of money I received. Joy, joy! Well, it was pretty embarassing to be up on the stage so many times. Even Ms. Priya (the one who was reading the names) was like "You again ar?". I just chuckled of course. In a way, I did not realize the extend of my achievements till everyone (including the guests of honor) were complimenting me about it. Hmm... [Note to self: This is your blog. You can brag in here] I guess, looking back at it, I do feel a sense of pride in what I've achieved last year. This year? Everyone's expecting me to repeat the same performances. I seriously have no idea if I can do it (Whatever happened to "Think positive"?)
2. Late last night: Car breaking down, bunch of Mat Rempits haggling us, stuck in the middle of pretty-much nowhere, sleepy as hell.... to sum it up: DRAMA. I was roaring to go out and have fun since I can safely say "Good Riddance and see you next year" to my assignments. We ended up in Curve, I ended up spending RM50 to buy a pair of pumps, we ended up in Laundry (the cute manager wasn't there, how saddening), I ended up drinking a little (though I was hesitant in the 1st place) and voila, we ended up in Petronas, Sg. Penchala (not exactly where we expected the night to end up definitely). I would like to take the opportunity to thank a few guys who sacrificed their sleeping time to save our necks. The more the merrier, I'll say.
3. Charity Bazaar! Selling sausages and getting dunked. What a combination. Oh, not to mention, singing in the rain (literally). I also got myself some pretty decent body art. Wonder what my mum would say about it though. However, I already came up with the perfect excuse, "All for the sake of charity ma!"
4. New phone!!! Yay!!! Finally, my wish came true. I even bought the phone I've been eyeing for some time now, though it is actually a pretty old model. Old is Gold anyhow. But, it came with a price. And I don't mean the price of the phone either (my money gone!).[The subject remains a sensitive matter and shall not be discussed here]
5. Last but not least, Friday night. It was supposed to be just movies and maybe, mamak session after that. 4am tops will be home, safe and sound in bed. However, ended up playing a few rounds of pool and going to a friend's house to play mahjong. Played till morning and ended up eating breakfast before going home to aforementioned bed. Slept for 4 hours before waking up again to welcome an intern (only to be caught in a jam and missed the whole reception thingy). All in all, tiring but fun-filled.

Wow. So much has happened in the past week or so. Has it been that long? I seriously can't keep up anymore. Luckily, the break came in an opportune time for me. I can now relax my mind a little, my exhausted brain too and not to forget, my sanity!

Living life in the fast lane and on the edge is exciting but... can I really keep up?

Barely Breathing

Song of the day: Duncan Sheikh - Barely Breathing

3 assignments still unaccomplished. Good news? It's due next next Monday. Bad news is.... I have no idea how to go about it (and hence, barely started).

That dilemma aside, I actually had a pretty good pre-weekend. Had some good news from college (which I think I wrote about in an earlier entry). Right now, I am planning how to spend the money "wisely". Most of it would probably go to my Kuching-trip fund and my possible NLDS-camp fees also (possible because I might not be able to go as I'll be interning and all...). My parents and my auntie already warned me to 'belanja' them dinner (As long as they don't pick restaurants like OVERSEAs etc.). I haven't told my brother about it yet but he would have heard it from my parents. Think they've been telling every single relative of mine about it already. Today, I received 3 e-cards basically indicating the same message, all from my parents themselves. . You'd think I've won the Noble Prize or something. Maybe I should demand for a reward from them. Hehe. These days, my phone's kind of going bonkers. I want a new one. No, scratch that. I NEED a new one.

Anyway, what else was going on this week? Ohya... MUrni's. I went there 3 times already in the past 7 days. The thing is, it's freaking expensive! And the food's getting kind of boring. Maybe it's because I always order the same food again and again. Nevertheless, I had a bundle of fun. Mostly, it's thanks to the company I'm with. And probably, the subject too. Most of the time, we just discussed our views regarding this erm... piece of meat. Believe me. It ain't no ordinary meat we're talking about here. Don't think you can buy it from a run-of-the-mill butcher shop anywhere. Well.... Probably somewhere in China you might be able to (heard it's a delicacy there). Yikes....

Just yesterday, went to play pool with some friends. Haven't played in a while so was pretty surprised at my performance. Pretty much 'tapau-ed' my friend there. Haha. Then, it was Devil Wears Prada. OHMYGOSH....the clothes they featured were so bloody fantaboulous! Blahnik, Choos, Lagerfeld, Cavalli, Valentino, Armani, yada yada yada.....How i wish, how i wish...

I went to a friend's house today. Her house was a real piece of 'interior designing' art. Was ooh-ing and aah-ing about the little details. Anyway, the real purpose I was there was to actually spend some time doing our assignment together. Needless to say, nothing much was accomplished. Except, I found a new place where I can get bargain branded stuffs like Guess, CK, Esprit and MaxMara. The trick is, how do I get there again? Cheras was way bigger than I expected.

Tomorrow, will be going to try and cook sausages to sell for the bazaar. And will probably go to church in the evening (Keyword: probably). Sunday? Might be going to MidV to meet up with a couple of old friends from Ipoh.

Point is.. there ain't much time to concentrate on my assignment. Which is bad. Very bad. As I mentioned before, I don't have much of a clue what to do still. And yet, I am spending my precious time blogging now. Goes to show where my priorities lie, huh? Aren't you flattered??

Roses

Song of the day: Outkast - Roses

I just woke up and I'm blogging. And I was worried that my enthusiasm would last for a miserable 1 day. Hmm...

It's a new day. It's Tuesday. My 2nd favourite day in the week. Reason? I have only 1 class for the whole day and it starts at 3.30pm. The best thing about it is... I get to wake up whenever I want to.

Today, my mood is neutral. It could swing either way. But people who know me would claim that I have never been in a lousy mood before. In fact, I have been accused straight to my face that I was too 'cheery'! What can I say? I just radiate 'happy' hormones all the time.

The thing is, I'm easily satisfied. A little thing can dictate my mood for the whole day. Let me compile a list:

Little things that would make my mood good:

1. Getting to wake up whenever I want to
2. Getting to sleep again after discovering that I don't have to wake up early after all (more often than not, it's because I decided to 'ponteng' the early class)
3. Hearing that my beloved MU won their game or is top of the table
4. Getting to enjoy my food while simultaneously watching my favourite TV drama or reading a great book
5. Knowing that the night before I had accomplish what I've set out to do and more
6. Hearing my favourite songs on radio and getting to sing along at the top of my voice (Hmm... it rained cats and dogs yesterday night)
7. Getting an email from a long lost friend
8. Getting any email from anyone at all (and I don't mean spam)
9. Having good banter with my college mates
10. Having a good hair day

Wow. I read it again and I realized I am that easy to satisfy. Crap.

p.s: Reason I chose Roses? The whole 'wake up and smell the roses' thing. Guess it does coincide with my theme after all.

She Says

Song of the day: Howie Day - She Says

I've decided to give blogging another try. Perhaps 3rd time's the charm for me. Anyhow, I am determined to keep this blog off and running. I even gave it a much-needed facelift! The boring black is gone and it even have a new name! Hehe. My pre-Halloween resolution? Blog every other week, at least. Knowing me, this new resolve of mine would probably last 2 weeks the best case scenario. Worst case scenario? 1 day.

So, I've decided to keep the "Song of the day" thing going but I ain't gonna blog about it. The thing is, it's frustrating trying to figure out a theme that coincides with the song title. Screw it. The reason I chose Howie Day? It was playing on my MP3 when I was blogging this entry.

So, had a plan to finally get started on my triple assignment tonight after a hectic week of double tests and assignments due date. Phew. Glad that was over and done with. The thing is, it ain't over and done to begin with! Within the next 2 weeks? I will have to submit 3 assignments, organize a charity bazaar, sell chocolate candies and attend an award ceremony (Hehe, not trying to brag or anything.....but yours truly will be receiving 3 awards for good achievement in studies. Heh. Lucky ni-lah)

I seriously need a break. Before my "annual family trip" with my 1st son and my friends to Kuching next January, that is. I just need a day, away from it all (and by "all" i mean, college+hostel+responsibilities+handphones..... even my beloved TV). I just wanna be in an idyllic island (Langkawi?), lounging by the beach, sipping "Pina Colada" and with a personal masseuse at my call......Lovely.....oh, not to forget the half-naked, tanned and muscular hunks playing volleyball by the beach....Paradise.

The picture is bogus actually. It ain't Langkawi. It was taken when I went to Pulau Kapas with my college mates. Still, perfect...

Enough daydreaming already. So, what's happening in my so-called-ordinary life? Nothing much. Except I've been waiting to hear news from the companies that I've applied internship to. Except I've been procrastinating to send my application to the 'very-intimidating' BCG (My brother will surely berate me about it when he comes home from Acheh). Except I have 3 assignments to do in 2 weeks and I'm wasting precious time blogging here. Except, despite the triple workload, I'm making plans to catch "The Devil wears Prada" soon. Except I've recently 'inherited' a genuine Prada purse. Farnee. I was supposed to buy it sometime in the future.

5-things to buy when I am rich and maybe-famous?

1. Prada purse (Yay!)
2. Gucci watch
3. A round-the-world trip
4. Mini Cooper S (in red or silver)
5. A luxurious condo in the heart of KL

Hmm...One down. Four to go.